lesson: there is never an end to the hilarious stuff you can find online

So I have decided to take on the dutch language like I do a frosted glass of Hennessey privilege after a long week at work.... in my ardent search for study materials I came across this well dressed well put together women who I was sure was going to teach me the art of dutch etiquette. Yet, what followed was far from what I had expected... youtube never lets you down... ENJOY..

what little boy....?!

Last night as Me and my Partner were walking home rather late in the evening. We were last taking our normal short cut from the train, and its kind of a sketchy short cut because there are maybe 5 street lights to light a 7 block stretch -- but like I said its a sketchy shortcut. Nevertheless people live along these streets so its packed with two family homes and apartment buildings. Yet, I digress... so we are walking and as we cross the street I notice two young adolescent dudes giggling uncontrollably. I thought nothing of it walked towards them with ease continuing my conversation with my boo. But of course something had to happen...

So as I crossed the intersection and as I stepped on the corner the shorter of the two stepped in my path with his arms crossed. I think to myself "what in the hell is this little sucker fucker doing... I am not in the mood to have to kick anybody's kids ass." MInd you im still walking and he is STILL standing in my path. So Now im engaged in a game of chicken with this kid who couldn't be older than 13. Just as we were about to collide he leans in and jumps back causing me to step sidwardsly which is what i think the little punk wanted cause he says: "WHAT ARE YOU DRUNK" and for split second I think "this little jackass thinks he's carrot top or something" so I being the quintessential New Yorker I am say no "But you must be." Later I think maybe I could've been harder on the little shit but I thought if I had yell "Hey you little shit get the FUCK out my way, before I tell you mom your out here fucking with people and she whips your ass!" - it might have been too much.. dont you think?

This stuff only happens to me...i can only laugh

Lesson: PEOPLE DONT HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE ON THE TRAIN

Why do people seem to lose their ever loving minds on the train in NYC during rush hour. Mind you rush hour is like 3 hours long so maybe that is a contributing factor. Regardless people generally don't know how to act. Sadly I must single out the male gender as whole because their shennigans on the train are the most ridiculous. Two stories come to mind -

(1) So a couple of months ago me and my sexy beast of a partner were riding the 3 train, a train referred to as the beast because it goes from the heart of harlem to the heart of crown heights. Needless to say there are usually many strong personalities aboard. So on this particular evening the train was classically crowded.. you know when its so crowded that your ass is like getting to know the ass of the person standing behind you because they are pressed together like the hands of lovers on the glass of penitentiary visitation cubicles, nasty but true. Of course being the aggressive and train savy new yorker that I am hoping that some one sitting directly in front of me will get up and get off, this would allow me or my partner could slide right into that open seat and get out of the gauntlet of inappropriate touching laid down by the bodies packed in like sardines on the train. Then just as the woman infront of me was fixing her self to get up, I turned to my partner and said "would you like to sit down", mind you the train has not come to a complete stop yet --- when the man standing next to me says in booming voice "NO! IMMA SIT DOWN"

well suffice to say that he was the one who sat down..... so much for chivalry lol... then he proceeded to mumble under his breath about how his feet hurt too and who do women think they are...

(2) On an almost empty train... I am sitting there looking nowhere because the cardinal rule of riding the train in new york city is DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT... you never know if you might set a fool off... in one way or another.

Many years ago, in the summer of 98 when I was 14, my friend and I were coming back from some party in the mid evening - like 8ish. We were sitting in a train car with three other people. Two women and one man. As we had been told by our parents we kept to ourselves and did not make eye contact or at least I didn't. My other friend (who shall remain nameless so dont ask who it was) was substantially endowed like WHOA even at that age and needless to say she was constantly receiving attention of older men while in public. Anyway we are their sitting on the train and i notice she is smiling, I think to myself I know this big breasted female teen who is not in shape cant run or fight IS NOT MAKING EYE CONTACT with this obviously older man (had to be mid to late 20's). Just as I thought to myself there is nothing good that can come from this I saw the mans leg moving - because you better believe he wasn't going to get us both to make eye contact with him. As I tried to assess why his leg was moving so quickly and so wildly I noticed the man had HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS and was literally trying to rub one out!!!

CLEARLY, we had to get off at the next stop before the confetti or worse was thrown in celebration of whatever he hoped to achieve... ugh the HORROR!

Lesson: Its easy to keep a black man down

I know I usually amuse you all with tales of my escapades throughout the city; however today after my long hiatus I felt the need to address the public's singling out and castigation of Mr. Kanye West. Now I am not saying that what the man did was right, nor that he didn't deserve some heat, but I find it rather convienent that the media is focusing on his blog entries and his acts on that night and HAVE COMPLETELY DISREGARDED the mans heartfelt clearly distressed almost breakdown on the jay leno show two nights ago. Has everyone forgotten that Ms. West passed and Kanye was not able to or could not morn her passing. No one acknowledged his pain, nor gave the man some space. THIS WAS HIS MOTHER - whom he did not know was going in for an elective surgery and died on the table. I mean who would you feel? could you rally? now think of yourself with millions of eyes watching, encouraging you to be boisterous half expecting you to show out and act up... now could you juggle both saddness and pleasing the public?

Let us all remember that through out history the public has been fickle, and frankly inhumane towards artists - especially black men. It seems overall that they only get truely praised in death. Marvin Gaye loved and despised for his adultery - in death a recognized as the truely kind and sensitive soul he was; MJ do i have to really get in to what we did to that poor man and still there is NO proof he ever molested any boys not to mention his 1990 accuser admitted he was forced to tell lies about the King of Pop by his parents. And now Kanye --- some of you may say Kanye is no MJ he is no Marvin --- but this is my blog and i can compare who ever I want ! Anywho GIVE THE MAN A FREAKIN BREAK!! What do you want the man to do kill himself, he is embarrassed, sonned at the awards show by beyonce, and was almost crying on Jay Leno, not to mention he BLATANTLY said that HE IS HURTING AMERICA! further that he has never been able to morn his mom and that his hurt is spilling over.... has he not prostrated himself enough... i think that we need to examine ourselves and why we feel the need to so vehemently beat down the black man in favor of the young blond white woman. Dont get me wrong what he did was wrong and he should not have ruined Taylor Swifts moment but enough is enough already lets not make him into another Black man we use abuse, throw away, and then in death make an ICON. --- stop think about it -----

I know some of you are thinking this is soo not a racial thing at all - and maybe it is not blatantly racial but there are some undertones... to have everyone speak out on it and some to call him a "toobag" or "a waste" is WAY HARSH! But its a fail proof equation : Black man does something to upset white woman - black man is crucified.

political i know but this is how i see it...so why don't we pray for him to whatever god we recognize... why don't we ask that god to help him get better and to channel that creative energy that we the public so love him for into some positive healing for his sake and for ours because as many of you hate him today if he comes out with a banger tomorrow you will be back on his jock....