Monday, February 8, 2010

Poor Pussylove

so.. albeit this blog is peppered with deep thoughts and introspection... lets not forget that residing deep with in me is a 7 year old child that still laughs when people fart and finds cloudy sunsets beautiful, that being said the awkward humor has a knack for finding me....SO

For the last week my partner and I have been cat sitting for a friend of mine who is studying for the bar exam. His cat is gorgeous black, cat whose name could be its own blog entry: Delores Pussylove Craigslistina. Well in truth we thought his kitty could help us flush out a mouse that had been running between our and our neighbor's apartment, which she did! But of course the reality of her visit couldn't be so straight forward, because if so there would be little humor involved in this situation. BUT its my life so of course there was a catch ---- two days into the Kitty's visit we started noticing some weird behavior. The kitty who is normally very friendly and relaxed, started purring and meowing loudly, writhing on the ground, and rubbing herself on everything. The kitty was so into the rolling and the purring she wouldn't even play mouse chase with her toy. All she could bring herself to do is lay on the ground and lethargically swat at the toy when it was waived in front of her.
We became slightly concerned at this behavior given its complete opposition to the kitty's normal disposition, so we called her owner:

Ring, ring, ring -- "Hello? " - me
"Hey Girl, how is my pussy?" - S
"She is good, acting a little strange, she is tooting her booty everywhere and deeply purring as she rubs her head all over everything." - me
"OO Girl, she may be in heat." - S
"Uhh, heat? as in horny? as in she is sexually frustrated?" - me
"Yes, i mean i was supposed to get her spaded but i haven't had a chance to get around to it." - S
"Well what do you do when she is in heat and running a muck?" - me
"Well on you tube, they say that you should put on a rubber glove and press down, with out penetration, on her vagina, until she lets out a deep purr then ... " - S
"excuse me? are you saying you break her off? As in you pump that pussy? haha, no but seriously not to cut you off but, I AM NOT DOING THAT" - me
"O girl, I don't do that either, i just roll up a magazine and pat her butt vigorously until she lets out that deep purr of satisfaction." - S
"I AM NOT DOING THAT EITHER, just so you know. Do you think she could handle that herself?" - me
"Oh she knows she not going to get that personal treatment from anyone else?" - S
"Yea, because i may be a freak but bestiality....nah." - me

We ended the conversation on that note, needless to say his cat has not gotten any action while at my house, NOT ON MY WATCH.

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